Note To Self: Dear College Freshmen

Note to the Reader: oh hello there. I'm moving to New York City this week to start college which is wonderful and scary and exciting all at the same time. I wrote a little (read: a long, very very long) letter, mainly to myself but partially to other freshmen who are experiencing the same feelings as me. If you take the time to read this in it's entirety then you should go #TreatYoSelf because this thing is a beast. Well, without further ado I present to you my letter.

Dear self,

First I'd like to say that you are a fabulous human being with a killer sense of style and an amazing sense of humor, but that has nothing to do with the content of this post.

You are going off to college, in a new state, in a new city. The most populous city in the country as a matter of fact because you are still a Texan at heart and you believe that bigger is better. I'm writing this post to you for the days when you miss home, when you feel lost (or actually are lost, the subway is no joke), when you question your decision, or when you just need something to push you the last few steps of the way.


Remember when you were a little sophomore spending your breaks staying up to ungodly hours researching every little bit about NYU and NYC life. Remember all the brochures you collected, remember how you felt when you went to the city and saw your first purple flag waving boldly in front of an NYU building, remember how much you stressed over grades and GPAs and your application essay, and on whether or not you made a good enough impression on that admissions officer who came to visit your school that one time. Remember all that you did to reach this grand goal of yours and know that you earned it. You were not only accepted because you are a woman or because you are black. You were accepted because you are a smart, determined, powerful human being and you have potential and this is just step one of reaching the purpose God has created for you. Do not let anyone tell you that you have no place here. This. Is. Where. You. Belong. 

Now that you have left the safe bubble of your beloved charter school where you learned and grew for 13 years, know that you are no longer a special little butterfly. Shocking, I know. You will not constantly acquire praise and admiration from your teachers and your peers, you will not be placed on a pedestal and constantly shown as an example. This is okay. You will be okay. And I know that you feed off of this constant attention and assurance, and when people don't leave positive comments or remarks on something that you've worked hard on or are proud of your heart breaks into a million little pieces. STOP FEELING THAT WAY. Believe it or not buttercup you have the ability to validate yourself. Are you really proud of that 10 page paper you wrote in one night? Put a gold star on it. Heck, put 10 gold stars on it. Did you doodle something that Picasso would be jealous of while not paying attention during your 8am stats class? Hang that ish up on the mini fridge. Your work and efforts are worthy of recognition, but more often than not that recognition is gonna come from yourself and that's A okay.

You're gonna meet a crap ton of people in college. You might even probably will have a class with more people than your entire high school. Find your people, and hold on to them as tight as possible. You, my friend, are a lucky duck because you have already made tons of friends and connections through Facebook. However, you have no obligation to maintain all of those "friendships" you've made before even reaching campus. You shouldn't be friends with someone if it feels forced, and you sure as hell shouldn't be friends with someone if they disrespect you or your beliefs. You are not paying what your paying so you can be dragged down by others. Find friends who are motivated, and encouraging. Find friends who are just like you, and the total opposite of you. Find friends who will go to church with you, or go shopping with you, or who won't get upset or annoyed when you ask them to take a picture of you for your blog or Instagram. Also, make sure to find someone you can cry to, because sometimes crying is what you need to do to get through something and you have the ugliest cry face in the world, like seriously, it's baaaaaaaad. You need a solid friend who won't make fun of you for that– or they will make fun of you, but only because they know that it will turn your tears into laughter. That is a friend you keep forever.

Make sure that you touch base at home frequently. Send a text if you don't have time to chat, don't be grumpy when Dad facetimes you and accidentally wakes you up, be patient when Mom inevitably calls you because the TV stopped working, and at least try to keep track of your brother's location in the world. Also make sure to call the family that you don't usually call since they're almost always at your house. They will miss you and you will miss them too. Stay in touch with your friends from high school, they are basically your siblings and it is your job to make sure that you wish them a happy birthday, and send them funny pictures that conjures up old memories, and tell them to not get too turnt on the weekends although you know they won't listen to you. It is also your job to be there for them when they're going through hard times or if they don't have someone to confide in. Be a good friend, sister, daughter, niece. People love you, love them back.

Now let's talk about the real fun stuff. Money is a thing you need, and it's great to have, and you're giving up a lot of it to go to the school of your dreams. Be smart about how you spend your money, but do not beat yourself up over spending money. You are moving to a city that will offer you an abundant amount of experiences, and some of these experiences will cost money. It is okay to indulge in these things– within reason. You sir are great at shopping sales and never paying full price, and guess what? You can get student discounts too! Know your needs, be reasonable with your wants and for the love of God make a budget and stick to it. Your wallet, and your parents will thank you.

For the love of everything that is pure and holy and right, do not miss class. Unless you are about to die, you have no reason to skip class. And if the thought of skipping dares to cross your mind, whip out a calculator and figure out how much you're paying for that class you want to skip. If that doesn't motivate you, then I don't know what will. Let's make an analogy because that seems like a collegiate thing to do. If high school was like playing Go-Fish, then college is probably gonna be like playing poker, with world class professional poker players, while everything is on fire. You will be stressed, and overwhelmed, and you will probably breakdown more than once because that is your speciality. It happens to the best of us. You will have to try harder than you've ever had to try in your entire life. Learn how to take proper notes, find a way to keep track of all your deadlines and meetings (like seriously, you're a mess), try starting your homework the day it's assigned– I hear its all the rage. 

And last, but not least, let us talk about your foundation. No, not the stuff you put on your face, I'm talking about what you stand on, your beliefs, your guidance, your rock. You will be challenged, in many ways, and boy oh boy will it be hard. Do not forget who you are, do not forget how you were raised, do not forget nor compromise the core pieces of your existence. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. You will have to rely on your friends more than ever, you will have to rely on your family more than ever, and most importantly you will have to rely on God more than ever. He knows the desires of your heart but it is your responsibility to seek Him and form a relationship. This will be the most important relationship you ever have. 

College is gonna be a blast and you will love it and you will grow SO MUCH. Please please please remember to document it as much as possible. You've got your head screwed on straight, a crowd of people to cheer you on, and all the potential in the world. Make it count, kid.